New Year, New You, or Not?
CHOOSING COURAGE OVER COMFORT
January is the time of year I actually struggle the most with my mindset and there are many reasons for this. Reasons like: It’s dark and cold. I start to feel lack. I see others pumped about the New Year and all they are aspiring to be, do, or have. I struggle with setting goals, perhaps because I fear not reaching them or simply because it’s the time of year we tend to set over the moon goals that may be difficult to accomplish and therefore we feel completely overwhelmed, perhaps we feel like failures for not accomplishing our goals. Or, perhaps, we don’t really want to set any new goals as we are still working on last year’s goals and setting more just adds to the anxiety and fear we feel. Whatever the reason, I do know that, ‘time passes,’ and so will these feelings that drag me down and so I often wait to really dig into my goals until later in the month.
Often, for many of us the fear is about setting resolutions, or goals of any kind, because it means putting ourselves out there and being vulnerable. Feeling vulnerable is okay, we’re human.
Vulnerable: to be easily physically, emotionally, or mentally hurt, influenced, or attacked.
It’s very hard to set goals and put yourself out there be it privately or publicly when fear is your traveling companion. When your mind is on a windy road of negative thoughts. ‘I’m not enough.’ ‘Who am I to think I can change and grow?’ ‘What will others think or say when I fail?’ ‘Others will judge me.’
These are all just thoughts that threaten our ego and beat down our feelings of self-worth, and that is not living in our true power, which means putting on armor so that we do not have to face the challenge of growth.
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.’
Joseph Campbell
What is the treasure you seek? Is it to have less fear and anxiety? To accomplish new and exciting goals for yourself? To feel valued and loved? To live a life of fulfillment? To become unstuck?
Our lives are so often defined by feelings of emotional exposure, uncertainty, and fear of risk. Being vulnerable often makes us feel weak, but being vulnerable is where real growth happens. To choose courage over comfort is truly the only place that growth happens, dreams are realized and life is a joy to live. Being vulnerable means being open to hurt but it also means being open to growth, success and love.
Am I willing to sit in my discomfort?
No one else has the rights to our story, it’s ours to write, edit, and own. However, we must have the courage to take pen to paper and write that story no matter how messy, confusing, or unhappy it is. If we don’t own our story, it will own us, and that is a tragedy.
Courage does not mean never falling, courage means being comfortable in falling and getting back up. Courage is knowing that we can face a life of uncertainty because in facing the uncertainty with courage we will live a truly meaningful, empowered and successful life be that spiritually, physically or mentally because we are willing to not only write our story but own it as well. And in owning our story we will face and conquer fear because that is what happens when we write our own story, we are then able to create the life we envision for ourselves even if it means we must sit in our discomfort for a while.
“Courage is vulnerability. Vulnerability is courage. Like shadow and light, neither one can exist without the other.” Wai Lan Yuen
Yes it takes practice to stay in the present moment, to talk kindly to ourselves, to give ourselves a second, third and fourth chance, to not be defensive of other’s opinions, which by the way are none of our business, but isn’t this what we would encourage our own best friend to do? Why is it we shame, criticize or belittle ourselves when we would never do that to another person?
“You yourself as much as anyone in the entire universe deserves your love and affection.”
Buddha
So let’s sit in the self-compassion seat for a while. If we are not supportive of ourselves, if we do not have the ability to be our own best cheerleader, we certainly shouldn’t expect others to do it either. Let’s sit in our discomfort just for a moment because time passes and so does anxiety, fear and negativity when we choose to recognize our negative self-talk and start practicing self-kindness. When we decide that we can be vulnerable and write our story our way, that we are willing to risk it all, we will find our courage to shake off the armor and live a life where we are comfortable and happy in our own skin. When we are the authors of our own happily ever after we will find no need for armor, no need for fear of failure, no need for days filled with anxiety and certainly no need to judge ourselves or to fear feeling vulnerable.
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.”
Brene Brown
So can you do it? Can you sit in your discomfort for a while? Of course you can!
I so encourage you to try it because something truly amazing happens when we face our discomfort with courage, when we shut out the noise of negativity, and the feelings of vulnerability.
The magic begins when you enter the cave you fear because it truly does hold the treasures you seek.
So choose self-compassion. Choose to set goals whenever the spirit moves you. Choose courage, and yes discomfort. Choose to be brave and unafraid because that is the only way you will find joy and meaning in your life. However, no matter what gets done or not done, YOU ARE ENOUGH. You may be imperfect and you may feel vulnerable or even afraid, but that does not change the fact that YOU ARE WORTHY OF LIFE’S RICHEST EXPERIENCES.
Cheers to you and a year filled with I AM worthy, fearless, blessed, beautiful, brave, strong, excited, grateful, enough, and loved.
Remember…
Always Believe, You are Amazing,
Tammie